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Delayed Shipment

Before

77xBudBefore

Dear Samuel,

Pls check the attachment is the shipping agent inform.

It is not seriously believable when i got your email yesterday about the delay shipment.

We were afraid this ship delay again and we also want to tell you the exact ETA time .

Actually we have asked the seller’s the actual ETA time the day before yesterday ,and the seller still told us the ETA time was 2012-9-8.

And we also pushed the seller release the BL to you before yesterday.
But we are not the shipper , we couldn’t contact the shipping agent directly  ,we just could get the news from the seller. So we really didnot know the ship delay again.

The follow is the seller give us the reply about this event.

Thanks & Best Regards!

Gigi

After

77xBloomAfter

Dear Samuel,

The shipper informs us your shipment B/L 123456789 is delayed because their space is full already.  The shipper expects to load your shipment on their next vessel, Ocean Star /SP034S, with an ETA of 15-DEC-2009.  I have attached the notice from the shipping agent for your convenience –1Customs Letter.pdf

I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw the email yesterday about this delay!  Only the day before yesterday we asked the seller to confirm the exact time of arrival, and the seller replied, “2009-9-8.”  So we pushed the seller to release the bill of lading to you.

Even though we are unable to control the actions of the seller, we do apologize for this untimely delay.  We were afraid this shipment might be delayed again and wanted to give you exact times. Since we are not the shipper, however, we cannot contact the shipping agent directly.  We have to rely on what the seller tells us, and the seller did not inform us of the delay until now.  Here below is the exact text of the seller’s reply.

Sincerely,

Gigi

Delayed Shipment

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Notes

  1. When an attachment is extremely important, do not merely ask your reader to “check the attachment.”  Instead, summarize the attachment in your own words.  You summary makes it easier for your reader and shows your deep respect for this customer. Then mention the attachment, so your reader is sure to see it.
  2. The full “please” shows more respect for your reader than “pls.”
  3. Capitalize “I”
  4. Reserve “not seriously believable” for informal chat among friends. For business use a formal phrase: “could hardly believe, found it hard to believe, was unbelievable, almost did not believe,” etc.
  5. “delay shipment” should be “delayed shipment” or “delay of your shipment.”
  6. Because “were” is past tense, “want” should also be past tense: “we also wanted to tell you the exact ETA time.”
  7. Always put no spaces before punctuation and one space after:

Wrong:  directly  ,we.  Right:  directly, we.

  1. “The follow is” should be “The following is.” Better yet say, “I have attached the notice from the shipping agent for your convenience –1Customs Letter.pdf”
  2. “The follow is the seller give us the reply about this event.” Improved: “The following is the reply the seller gave us about this event.”

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